this gonna change your life, this is my favorite song in Elissa's new album. but dont simply listen to it, just open another youtube tab and search rainy mood, and listen to both at the same time, here you go..

take me back to the start

I talk to u in my head all the time, and I dont know how to stop. I don't wanna think of u, I don't wanna be selfish, I don't wanna miss you. and it's just hard, cuz the fact is, I constantly think of u, and I know I'm being selfish as I don't want u to forget about me too, and I'm sorry but I really miss you, ur presence, and ur annoying logic. and it helps me when I type sthn and I say.. maybe he's reading it? I hope u'r ok. if I could go back in time, I don't know if I would have acted differently, but I know that letting go of you is harder than I ever thought it would be. 

bring me back to Egypt ~

Alexandria.. <3 <3 <3 

what after miscarriage.. ?

It is impossible to prepare for the loss of a baby. It doesn't matter if you have held your child or seen your baby's sweet face, the love you have as a mother is still there and to lose that is devastating. As a grieving mother, it is very possible to be in shock over the loss, experiencing anger or guilt, sleepless nights and loss of appetite. It is also likely to become very confused. . It doesn't matter if anyone understands how you feel or what you are going through, just know that what you are feeling is not crazy and it needs to be handled just like it you were grieving another loved one. The most important thing you can do is to take care of yourself.

Here are some steps to ensure that you do just that.

1. Make sure that you are eating healthy, nutritious food. A healthy diet helps your body heal itself and restore itself due to deep stress, plus it boosts your energy and physical strength. Although it is easy to just eat something quick and unhealthy, such as fast food, try to remember that not feeding your body in a healthy way can actually make you feel worse.

2. Try to get a little bit of exercise every day, if your doctor says that it is okay. Exercise releases endorphins (the happy hormone) into your body, which helps reduce stress and anxiety. Plus, going for a 30 minute walk or some other exercise will help you just get away from the situation for a little while.

3. If you are having problems sleeping, try to drink warm milk, or some sleepy time tea. Try to steer clear of sleep medications if at all possible.

4. Don't make yourself do all of the things that you normally do. Just try to relax. Make sure you get the necessary chores done, other than that, give yourself a break and only do what you feel like you can do. By all means, do not do anything strenuous for a little while after your miscarriage, as you can hemorrhage.

5. Let others help you. Accept help from others, let them fix you dinner do your laundry or anything else that they offer to do. Don't let your pride stand in the way of getting things done. You need this time to rest and relax and heal emotionally and physically.

6. Let it all out. Come up with a way to get your emotions out. Writing in a journal is a great way to release emotions; you can also talk to a trusted friend or counselor.

7. One very important thing to remember is to remember that although your husband is not responding in the same way does not mean that he is not grieving also. Men and women grieve in different ways and he is more than likely grieving in his own quiet way.

It is never easy to lose a loved one, especially a child. Take time to grieve and make sure that you are well. You cannot take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. Take time for you!

 everyone was watching Arab idol and the x-factor and I watched kanz! I love Amina karam and her angelic voice - the only one that was confident enough and didnt sound like chipmunks. 

I watched "the curious case of Benjamin button" and I cried my lungs out.. then I was sad for like a week, and do I need that? I even cried when the ape died in king kong.. I don't need that at all - from now on all I'm going to watch on TV is the Simpsons.

baby massage

favorite song by Fairuz :) english subtitles

moving to Abu Dhabi- I'm gonna miss dubai. :(

I feel I don't exist - I don't recognize myself in the mirror - like the pic I mentally have for myself is not the same as it is in the mirror. most of time I feel I don't belong to any one - and it still feels weird to have a son- I was told that  it was all new to me that's why - but it shouldn't be new after 2 years - I still think I'm 18 and it depresses me cuz I'm 26 now and it feels weird. growing old shouldn't be disappointing.

dream a little dream of me

Pray for Egypt.. 

Pasta Bolognese

I used to order it and now I make it at home. it's so simple I wouldn't mind having it for lunch every day. :x

life goes on.. don't you hate these words? I do. cuz it should not go on, it should stop and fall apart.

I shouldn't be sad or disappointed, don't know what else to say. 

when I read my previous blogs, I was thinking maybe I'm just too dramatic? so I took this online quiz :]

You are 53% dramatic!

53%

OK, well, maybe you're a little bit of a drama princess. But you know what? If you realize that sometimes things can't go your way, then you're safe. You usually are calm, but you can sometimes slip up. (Hey, we're all human!)

How Dramatic Are You?

AND THE FUN CONTINUES 

What type of person do you attract?

Your Result: You attract geeks!

Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.

You attract Yuppies!

You attract unstable people!

You attract artsy people!

You attract models!

You attract rednecks!

What type of person do you attract?

I'm not sure if I attract geeks, but they attract me :P

What mental disorder do you have?

Your Result: ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)

You have a very hard time focusing, and you find it difficult to stay on task without your mind wandering. You probably zone in and out of conversations and tend to miss out on directions because you cannot focus

Paranoia

Manic Depressive

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)

What mental disorder do you have?

Which Ice Cream Flavor are You?

Your Result: Moose Tracks

You are like a lone, mysterious moose slowly trekking through a blizzard by the light of a full moon. The ultimate in comfort foods, your flavor is deep, dark, rich and sensuous with swirls of fudge and peanut butter cups. You like quiet, inside activities by the fireside. Though sometimes depressed, you always remind yourself that brighter days are ahead and cheer yourself up with a yummy snack

Cookie Dough

Chili Vanilla

Mint Chocolate

Raspberry

Pistachio

Pizza

Taro

Which Ice Cream Flavor are You?

when you miss someone

she was glad he was in her life again, it made her smile
it filled her heart with a joy that tried hard to hide
my love brought you back to me, he said
it made her feel so special, so alive.
and felt so much happiness that it made her feel guilty
she wasn't supposed to be happy, how could she?
and when he sensed it, he decided to go away for good
without a goodbye
she hated him so much for that and cried, then she realized
goodbyes are overrated anyway.
he thought it was the right thing to do, he didn't want to hurt her, or that's what she wanted to believe
even though she didn't hesitate much to hurt him before
people forget. life goes on. that's what she once thought
but why did he leave? couldn't he stay a little bit longer
was it gonna let her miss him less? maybe not
she accepted it or that's all she could do. she has always been ready to accept whatever happens to her.
unlike him.
she secretly waited for him to be back again
and hoped he might be reading her lines thinking of her
as she will always, always think of him
and remember him with a smile,
and a broken heart.

  this is my favorite song by Elissa, and I also love the sand art. 

dentists are the scariest

such a horrible experience, no matter how friendly they might look, dentists are the scariest. and he is expecting me to visit him again next week? dream on babe! I will never ever go to the dentist again. :| NEVER AGAIN!

I thought of you the whole day today at work, I was singing loud when there was no one around; and was constantly smiling. It was great yet embarrassing. there will be a place in my heart that will be eternally in love with you. and what I love most about you? the way you make me feel special. and the fact that you love my every detail, even when I'm angry, sad, depressed, having break downs, I know that I can show you my worst sides and you will always, like always be there, never leave or let go. and you have no idea how relieving this is specially for an insecure person like me. u accept my mistakes, and the way you love me is the kind that people write novels about. your love is true, and as good as it sounds, it can be painful at times, specially to you. as the saying goes "the greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel its pain" and you just deserve to be happy and smiling every day as long as you live. oh I haven't mentioned your smile? such a lovely smile. you should smile more. not just when you look at me, but all the time. even when I'm not around. I love you.

She
May be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She
May be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She
Who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She
May be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me
I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be

the meaning of life is She.

" He looks at me like he's the spoon, and I'm his dish of ice cream. "

something always brings me back to you

Something always brings me back to you, and it never takes too long.. 

no matter what I say or do I will still feel you here till the moment I'm gone

you hold me without touch, you keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign

set me free, leave me be

 I dont wanna fall another moment in ur gravity

you loved me cuz Im fragile, when I thought that I was strong 

but you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone

set me free, leave me be 

I dont wanna fall another moment in ur gravity 

here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be

but you're on to me, and all over me

..

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground but  you're neither a friend nor foe though I cant seem to let you go. the only thing I still know is that you're keeping me down.

something always brings me back to you